Post by Admin on Apr 25, 2021 17:32:18 GMT
BE FOREWARNED
This intro to one of the novels I am writing about the recent visions I have had, and an introduction to the Creation who holds the other half of my spiritual heart, puts into words the love I have for her.
Be forewarned, this story is weird, it's gross (Disgusting) it's violent, it's bloody, it's angry, vicious, and violent.
But, I also want to believe it is also beautiful. It is a story about redemption. I am not posting the whole thing because I intend to self-publish my novels, because eating sometimes is nice.
BE FOREWARNED
Here is my fictionalized (not canon as related to my visions and other-worldly discoveries) version of my story based on recent events surrounding visions I have had in the early morning hours approximately a month ago. I am a science-fiction love-story novelst and I've written about 20 novels related to a wolf-like people on another planet. Little did I know I was writing about a very real people that do exist in another spiritual plane of Resonance (Existence).
I was "Given over to the devil" a number of years ago (See my posts and introduction) and my body, which I believe is an avatar for a soul-person was ripped apart by a dark entity I now realize was a hybrid woman of Gods creation, that I was "Married" (She was my charge, I was more powerful than she was in that realm, somehow, even though physically she could tear me apart) to her and to care for her, but because I was ignorant of her and her heart, I was a pleasure-seeking selfish self centered being who took her for granted, and caused her emotional and physical pain and grief until she couldn't take my abuse and neglect, and joined an angelic rebellion so she would not have to be under my subjugation any more.
This is one of several novels, where I explore her Wolven people, where when I kick my air addiction in this realm (When I eventually die as all humans in this realm do) Asrael has "Repented" already and God (Joe) has returned her beautiful coat to her, and restored her once hateful heart, so that she no longer hates me (And rightfully hated me. I willingly bear her rage against me. I deserve it for not "seeing" her in the first realm, according to the spiritual things I am being shown. This is without drugs of any kind although I tend to drink at night. What caused my third eye to open? Trauma. Terrible, endless trauma and spiritual emotional pain so great this realm became unbearable, and my mind needed to resonate with a higher realm, eventually, out of misery.) This is one of twelve more novels I am working on, but this one I am focusing on because I resonate with it. When I say redemption, I mean her, and I both.
Well anyway, enjoy the first handful of chapters to the novel.
"Dark Asrael: A redemption story"
I died. On the Earth realm, something mortal happened, and my life-force left my human body.
“Please don't hurt me.” I spoke into the darkness, in terrible pain.
“I... won't... hurt... You. Please...” Her voice was deep, low, and labored.
She paused, and I heard her breathing change, a little. She grew excited.
“Please.” She said, again.
“Please... Don't... Hurt... Me. I... am... Sorry.” She wasn't genuine. How could she be? In this realm, she had bathed in her rage for eons.
I heard her begin to weep, but it was a very slow and labored mourning. It was half laughter. I grew afraid of her, of her rage.
She was far more powerful than I.
“Will you step into the light? Can I see you?”
“Do... you... love... me?” She said, mockingly. Or, was it genuine? It didn't matter. I was her Resonant. I was also her sacrifice.
“More than the universe and all that's in it.” I wheezed, my body damaged by her rage.
I could see the tears streaming down her filthy face as she remained just behind the light. Yet, her aura remained one of hatred.
“Not. Like before. And... I'm sorry. I am the one that needs to be sorry. I didn't know.” I said, tears streaming down my face over how I had wronged her in a past life.
“Didn't... know... what? Please... be... kind... to... me... Please... don't... hurt... me.” She was genuinely scared. I desired to calm her.
“I will not hurt you. I didn't know how special you were. I couldn't see it. I didn't know how much I loved you. I needed to be away from you to learn this painful lesson.” I said, trying to be as real as I could in this situation.
“I'm so sorry, Asrael.” I whispered softly in the darkness. Yes, it was dark, but it was slightly brighter around me. Countless figures stood around me, wanting to transcend to a realm with a higher frequency. Wanting out of the stench, the heat, and desiring healing waters.
They didn't want to be there any more. They stood in a higher vibration that saturated the darkness by courtesy of my presence there.
“I never want to hurt you, again.”
“R-” She began to say, but her throat was so dry she was unable to speak.
“Really?” Her mind transitioned to one of painful repentance so quickly it scared me.
And yet, I still felt her black rage.
“Yes.”
“What...do... I.. have... to... do?”
“Do?”
“To... be... your... wife...” She said, half mocking, half hopeful.
She swallowed.
“Again?” She said after swallowing, her throat and muzzle very dry. Her throat was beginning to hurt, I could sense it.
“The crimson strand that connects us was never severed. May I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
I felt her consciousness shift into the old first realm. Where she belonged to me, willingly. Where she loved me.
Where she was my slave.
And where I lorded my power over her. Took her for granted...
Where I raped her.
Where I beat her.
“What does Asrael want?”
“My...” She swallowed.
“Husband.”
“He was an asshole.”
Her throat made a sound that I hoped was laughter.
“Don't... be... an... asshole. Please. Please. I.. can't... handle... your... anger. Don't... hurt... me... I..”
She swallowed again.
“I... love... you. Please... Be... Nice.” She was so incredibly vulnerable in this state. Though she towered over me, with the muzzle of a bear and vicious teeth to match, she was mostly terrified of me, and just partly missing me, her husband in another realm, the realm outside of Bannishment.
“I will. I promise. I want to get to know you.”
More weeping from her. I still felt her hatred. She wasn't wrong. I was cruel to her in the first realm. I tricked her, I deceived her. She was pure, innocent, and made of love. But my ignorant, selfish cruelty had twisted her soul. It had harmed her. And now, I reaped my reward for such things. I learned to bear it gladly. I learned to let her anger teach me.
I became a better man. I desired no other, though I could have whom I desired in any realm. I desired this dark woman, her once shimmering coat lost, her skin, covered in sores, her feet, filthy, and her eyes, ones of pure, vicious hatred.
Angry, hateful, vicious, wild eyes closed, Asrael lifted one rotting foot from the sludge of hell, and it hovered in the hot air.
“Please...” She begged.
“What?” I asked, excited, scared, angry, horny, confused, yet hopeful. Still, I remained submissive. And would, forever. To my love.
“Will... you... be... kind? Please.” She whispered in the darkness, to self-conscious of her present state, a far cry from her original form, to show herself to me, lest I laugh and mock her, as I perhaps did, in the highest realm.
“I promise you I will never take you for granted again. And, if I do, I may need to do this crap again. Or, we will talk about it. Please, don't be hurt. I am not perfect...” I said, choking on my own blood.
“Neither... Am... I. You... were... delicious.” I saw her wicked smile, and for a moment I was worried as she stepped into the light, a devious grin on her terrifying muzzle.
I felt the power in me surge through me, to bring harm to these creatures, I grew furious, for a moment, at her, at them- but I neither pitied nor hated them. I was somewhat indifferent. Except, I loved Asrael.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“I... can't. You... will... punish... me.”
“What if I wouldn't. What if you needed to know I've changed? I want to earn your trust.”
“You... had... it... once...” She growled as she stepped into the light, opened her hateful eyes, and feasted on a part of my body.
I gritted my teeth, trying not to scream, and I felt some of the creatures down there, went from being afraid of me to wanting to join the feast. TO wanting to add to my pain, as they assumed I was still vulnerable, still in need of correction.
I began to go into shock as she crunched on my bones, tears falling from my eyes from the pain.
“Keep going.” I whimpered when she stopped to stare at my face, taking in my agony, enjoying my pain.
“I'm... so... hungry.” She said, pleading with me.
She took another few terrible bites then stopped, and began to weep.
She fell next to me, on her ass.
Some time passed.
“That's going to take some time to heal.” I said, looking at my mauled body, breathing heavily, and regretting asking her to keep going, but knowing I had to. I felt myself desire other women, desiring a heart transplant from her chest, but gritted my teeth, and stared down at her.
“Are you okay?” I said, my face stained with my tears, and me, choking on my fear.
“I'M... SORRY!” She roared, her anger returning, and I watched her get to her feet, her lips lifted, the black filth of hell, and my flesh dangling in her vicious wolf's maw. Or, should I say bear? Because it was the size of a bears.
A little imp came running over to me to stick a sharpened stick in me, when, with a vicious rage, I blew him apart with my powers, the rage of my Nephilim will, his molecules separated and screaming in agony, splattered all over hell. Asrael gasped, horrified, for she knew a part of me was her cruel master, still. He still existed inside of me.
Suddenly, each of them stood back. I stared hatefully at the screaming agonized viscera I had just created, sending the frequency of pure agony all throughout that realm, where such things energized life down there. More demons ran to the agony, wishing to feast on it. This realm was chaos.
Asrael's eyes went wide, her snarl turned to a face of fear, slowly, as her body was so dehydrated.
Suddenly, terror gripped my wife, and she tried to run from me, though I knew if she was healthy, her body was capable of much higher speeds.
“WAIT!!! I WON'T HURT YOU!!! PLEASE!!! COME BACK!!! PLEASE!!!”
I shouted into the inky blackness of hell, begging for her.
Soon, off in the distance, I heard her unique sobs, through her large muzzle.
“I'M... SORRY!”
“I know, baby, I know!” I shouted back, tears falling down my face.
“Please... Don't... Hurt... Me.” She said, speaking between the sobs, her soul down there now doubly destroyed in confused anger and pity.
“I won't. Please, come back.” I whispered into the night.
Slowly, she padded her way through the slush back into the light, surveying my agonizing wounds, more tears coming down her face.
“What's... Going... To... Happen?”
“I... don't know. I was told not to be afraid.”
“You... let... me... hurt... you, a... Nephilim! I... will... be... banished, punished!”
“You answer to me for that. I am your judge, jury, and executioner.” I said, with authority.
“What.. will... you... do to... me?”
“Love you.”
She scoffed in the dim light.
“It's... a... Nephilim... trick. Cruel... your... people... are... so... cruel.”
“You're right. I was.”
“Why...” Asrael whispered into the darkness.
“Because you need to know I won't hurt you.”
“Then... let... me... feast.”
“I'll be honest it's pretty painful.”
“I.. can... decapitate... you. It... will.. hurt.. less.”
“I will allow you to do as Asrael desires. However, understand that eventually you will be given a choice. And each time you hurt me, you will have to deal with that in a much higher realm.”
“Deal... with? You'll... punish... me.”
“No. I won't. But, you will. Punish yourself. And I don't want you to harm yourself because of me anymore. You'll have to come to terms with the fact that you caused the man who loves you... Pain. Feast, my love. Feast on me.”
“No... I... Don't... want... to.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and her head cocked, her hateful eyes studying me. I felt a very real connection occur with her, right then. I closed my eyes, savoring the love I had for my wife.
“I'm... Sorry.”
“Don't be. Can I touch your face?”
She instinctively got to her knees, and placed her large wolf-shaped bear-sized head in my hand, but she did not close her eyes at first. She could not form expressions in this realm, outside of hatred.
“I... was... your... slave. Before.”
“I know. I am so, so sorry.”
She opened her eyes, and a single tear fell from her left eye.
“Do... you... love... me?”
“With all of my heart, the other half, that beats in your sexy chest.”
She grinned and chuckled. She had tortured me with her insatiable sexuality while I was on Earth. I had hated my libido, unstoppable, always driving me. I chuckled when I saw her in a vision back on Earth, and realized it was her libido I was feeling... Not mine.
“You... didn't... have... to... say... that.”
“I know. You are so beautiful, Asrael.” I said, softly touching her furless cheek, her beautiful coat falling from her body eons ago. I was careful not to cause her any pain, as her skin was thin, blackened and sensitive.
She scoffed and moved her head away from me. “Now... I... know... you're... a... lying... Nephilim... bastard.”
She struggled to get back to her feet.
“Please don't go. You ARE beautiful, Asrael. You're confusing beautiful with pretty.”
“SO... I'm... Not... pretty?” She looked at me hatefully.
I shook my head, no.
That earned me a growl.
I reached out to the destroyed imp, it's viscera desperately attempting to come back together, because in this realm...
You never died.
No matter what.
With the power and force of my will, my hand extended out, I channeled Gods blueprints in my brain, got Tito's design, and restored his life-force, healing him.
He was fully healthy now, restored with bright white skin, his distorted and cancerous features now gone.
“Fuck off.” I growled with a hateful voice, as a warning to the rest.
He ran into the crowd in the light, screeching with angelic joy.
I closed my eyes and manifested a glass of the coolest, most healing water I could, and handed it to Asrael.
“May... I... have... some?”
I saw her jaw quiver. She licked the inside of her 6,000 year old dry mouth, only quenched by the blood of her victims... And blood from my body.
“You can have it all. Please, take it, I'm in some pain.”
“Good.” She said, as she took the glass from my hands and drank.
“Sure you don't want to hurt me more?”
She greedily drank the water, and a few of the creatures of the dark had the guts to step forward and ask for water. I denied them all.
I wasn't here for them.
I was here for her.
“Give... them... water.” She asked, her throat quenched, her voice softer.
“Fuck. God, I need help. You know they'll all want some and I want my time with her.”
We were instantly transported to the highest realm, just Asrael and I. Light, shone all around us as my eyes painfully got used to it.
“You gonna hurt him?” Joe asked as Asrael trembled, urine running down her legs.
“NO!” She said, and began to weep, as she gritted her teeth.
He looked at me.
“You want justice for these wounds?” He said, gesturing broadly at my eviscerated body.
I winced, over the movement, still in pain.
“Hell no.” I growled, in agony.
“Seems like you like her. Do you want me to change out your Resonant? Give you another?” Joe said as he showed me a variety of beautiful, sexy Creation, all compatible with my hearts frequency.
Next to me, Asrael sobbed in horror, her feet somewhat decayed, and she fell on her ass, weeping.
“Wow. Damn. Hot. And no. I want her.” I said, pointing to the woman I had wronged so badly she willingly chose to be trapped in the darkest realm, with a hand she had partially eaten.
“Can I heal you?” I asked Asrael.
“You're in pain.” I finished.
“You stink.” Joe said to her.
She held her hand out for mercy.
“I... not... ready.”
I looked at Joe.
“Wanna go back?” He asked. I shook my head. “Noooo. Thanks.”
Joe chuckled.
“I have to do right by My creation, too.”
“I know. Thanks for giving me the love of my life.” I said, honestly grateful for the sobbing, partially rotted wolf-woman who wept next to me.
“May I uh. Be healed?”
She lay there, coiled in a filthy ball, sobbing. I touched her arm and she jumped, gasping, looking at Joe and I with such terror. My body a carcass without legs and only one arm, my head bashed in and separated from my body.
I was a work of art in the dark realm, twisted in agony.
I held my hand out to her, her terrified eyes welling with tears not only from her fear, but also from the agony of the light in this place. But, she bore it well. I didn't have legs, I was only an eviscerated torso. And I was glad to be so. The lessons I learned in the Earth realm were terrible, but turned out to be beautiful, in the end.
And, she was a tough girl. She had to be. To be my wife.
“What do I do?” I asked, wincing.
Joe turned to Asrael and pointed to her.
“He asked you if he could heal. He is enduring this...” he said, pointing at my mangled body as my blood leaked out onto Joe's floor.
“Because he loves you. He doesn't want another. He wants you.”
“I... love... him!” She shouted, through her confusion and pain, being honest, for once.
“I'm going to heal him. But you need to realize this.”
Asrael nodded, and said, “Please. Heal. Him.” Her words began to grow smoother as this realm slowly healed her.
Joe reconstructed me after finding a file of my exact essence.
“That feels so much better.” I said, laying nude on God's office floor, it having no walls. He snapped his fingers and I was clothed with a white shirt and jeans, with sandals on my feet.
“Please. Don't. Hurt. Me.” Asrael pleaded, her eyes closed, her tears washing some of the filth of her face.
“I wish you could know how much I love you. Let me prove it.”
“Okay.” She said, waiting for me to 'prove' it, and submitting to me.
“In time. What does Asrael want?”
“I. Want. Water. Please.”
Joe manifested a mug of water before I could even respond, and he handed it to her.
Seeing him with her, I could literally feel the love he had for this poor, pathetic woman.
I was so glad he had made her, exactly the way he did, and I was grateful for the scoop of wolf he poured into my essence that manifested as yellow wolf's eyes in this realm. My eyes went from blue in the Earth-realm, and a cool yellow here.
She chugged it down, then threw up an eons worth of trash, bones, and my guts.
~
Asrael began to shiver.
She was sitting on my bedroom floor.
“Already gonna fuck me.” She said, ears partially back in submission to me.
“No. No. I want you to sleep in my bed.”
“I'm not going to sleep in your bed.”
“I'll sleep in the guest bedroom. You don't have to worry.” I said, blushing, slightly at the angry wolf-woman who sat nude on my master bedroom floor.
I gathered a blanket, and she recoiled from me when I hovered over her, to rest it on her shaking body.
I got to my knees as she let her urine spill out onto the floor. She stared at me, hatefully.
“That's okay. Do you want to hurt me?” I offered her a hand, and, well, she tore into it.
“More?” I asked, gritting my teeth from the pain. When Joe healed me, I felt instantly restored from the agony I had felt for so long it had become a part of my identity.
“No.” She said, then threw up the part of me she just ate.
“You taste like shit.”
“Well, that's good to hear, I will be honest.”
“Do you love me?”
“With all of my heart, Asrael.”
“What if I hate you.”
“That's okay.”
“What if I want a different Resonant? What if I want someone else?” She said, spitefully.
“That's fine.”
She scoffed.
“Really?”
“You're perfect for me, Asrael. But Joe can do the transplant. He can do anything, you know.”
“I want a divorce, then.”
“What if you discover that I am literally perfect for you, too, and that you were meant to be with me? You sort of pissed Joe off right off the bat, do you think he will restore your heart back to me? Especially when I've experienced the love-resonance of someone elses heart and bonded with them instead of you?”
“How am I perfect for you?” She said, softly, her head low.
“Can we talk on the bed?”
“I haven't had to control my body in a long time. Sorry if it just comes out.” She said.
“The first one was on purpose.” I said, smiling knowingly.
She grinned, slightly.
“Maybe. Just a little.”
“Naughty girl. I'll clean it up.” I said with a grin. I had to accept her, filthy, stench filled partially rotted body, and all of her bodily functions.
She was my wife, after all, and I loved her.
We were bonding. I felt the connection between us grow.
I couldn't have been happier. My soul soared with the possibilities. However, I knew better than that. She wasn't the wife I had before. The tables had turned and now I needed to earn her love, a love I took for granted so long ago.
I submitted my joy to her.
“May I heal my hand?”
Asrael nodded, and I did, with my powers, my will manifesting as physicality in this realm. It was the power of the Nephilim.
I made no sounds, I made no attempt to manipulate her to no longer harm me.
“Um, well, what I know- you know how Joe hides Easter eggs in our consciousness for us to find and pick out. But, what I know, um, your feet are built powerfully, they are actually super sexy to me and I prefer them over human feet, your metatarsals are amazing, your legs are powerful and beautiful, I love your hybrid pussy, your asshole is perfect, your tail is a beautiful gateway to pleasure, I dig your breasts like completely, your hands are big and sexy, and your face... You're a big, scary, sexy creature that turns me right the fuck on. I mean really. You're beautiful beyond my wildest dreams and just looking at you makes me so, so, happy. I love you, Asrael.” I said, genuinely. I had loved her so deeply in another life. And in that realm, I was just as unworthy of her.
When I turned to look into her eyes, she turned her head, the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Okay.” She whispered, and I felt her grow a little closer to me. She didn't say it. “You don't love me.”
Instead, she said, “I've hated you for so long.”
“If you ever love me again, I want it to be because I earned every ounce of that love. I don't want you to give me a drop. Not a drop. Okay? The roles have reversed and I will be your slave.”
“A Resonant having a Nephilim as a slave. Huh.” she said, scoffing.
“Can... Can I heal your feet at least?”
She glared at me, hatefully. Like I was using a Nephilim trick to get in her pants.
“Clean them with your tongue.”
“Really? They don't hurt? Oh. You're used to it. Jesus.” I said when the universe showed me she had six thousand years of getting used to the pain of decay.
“No. Don't.” She said when I went in to clean the sludge of hell from her half rotted feet with my tongue.
“It will just turn you on and you'll rape me as usual.”
“Oh. Well, just FYI, I am repulsed by your feet, there is nothing sexy whatsoever about licking the feces, urine, and viscera of hell from your half-rotted footflesh. In fact, it may hurt you, a thought that scares me. Because I don't want to hurt you.”
“So hurt me. I demand it.”
“HURT ME!” she roared, her voice twelve times the volume of any shout I was capable of.
I sat there, next to her, ears ringing.
“I fucking said hurt me.” She repeated.
And, she was on me. Crushing my bones, tearing my flesh. I closed my eyes, enduring the agony as she ripped, tore, and crushed, and screamed when she crushed my chest, forcing air out of my lungs. On top of me, she snarled and growled, shaking me like helpless prey in her powerful maw.
“Do you like this? Is this what you want me to do?” She hissed, dropping my carcass on my bedroom floor, in her piss.
I shook my head, the bones in my neck broken. I tried to speak but I could not.
“Heal yourself and speak to me, I wish to do it again.” I nodded, and did as she requested. Slowly, the energy of the universe transmuted the particles in the air back into flesh and bone and I was healed from the inside out.
“First, while I am in fairly horrific agony , I want you to get it out. Get it all out. Take it out on me. It was my fault.”
“You said you didn't know. How can I fault you for something you didn't know.” She said, looking at me with a hellish stare.
“You said you wanted it again. Go ahead!” I said, offering my body to her.
“Is it what you want?”
“Do you want to hurt me?”
“Yes.”
“Then do it before I start getting upset.”
“What will you do if I upset you?” She asked.
“Nothing. I might go to the kitchen and get a beer. I want to sit with you as long as I can, though.” I said, honestly just wanting to be with her.
She took my hand, put it in her mouth, and looked me in my eyes. As she bit down, I gritted my teeth, and a few bones snapped until her eyes went soft, and tears fell down her cheeks.
“I don't believe you!”
“You don't believe I love you?”
She shook her head.
“What can I do to prove it?”
“If letting me eat you won't bring back my love, what do you think will? Huh, Nephilim bastard? You won't fuck it back into me, that's for sure.” She said- but she was such an insatiable creature, that was not technically true. I could re bond to her by having sex with her, over time she would be insatiable again, except if we focused on that, she would be the same bitter, hateful woman- but with added hornyness that didn't bother eating me because a mangled Dave can't fuck, growling at me the entire time I made love to her.
However, I knew in that moment she was going to love me again.
But it would take time.
“I want you to destroy me. Then you can have that other wolf-woman that made your eyes light up when Joe showed you your Compatibles. She's beautiful. I'm not. Then you can go fuck her.” She said, referring to the blond wolf-woman in the catalog Joe showed me.
“You can't be un-made, firstly, Wait.” I said, as Joe communicated something telepathically to me in that moment (He was God after all- dad.)
“Fuck, that's so sad. Okay.” I said as Joe told me he could take Asrael apart painlessly, and give her half heart, the other half of my spiritual heart, what sustained my soul and spirit, to another.
“Is that... what you want?”
She nodded, but I could feel her uneasiness. Apparently she didn't know she could be unmade. She didn't like that and began to shake, again.
“Explode me like the demon you killed.”
“No.”
“DO IT I SAID!” She said, while not the horrific shout that made my ears ring earlier, but definitely a yell only her people could make.
“No.”
“Do it.” She said, a bitter, sarcastic, cranky woman.
“Fuck you.” I said, indignant.
She smiled.
“Do you want to be unmade?” I asked her and saw the fear behind her eyes when I did. And, that blonde, white-haired wolf woman with the blue eyes- holy shit. I was going to have to look her up.
Joe, again, interfered in that instant and told me, in my mind, she didn't exist yet, she was just an idea he had- he did so telepathically and instinctively as he often did when I was on Earth. She would have to be a new creation, and she would have to very likely tour hell, and I would have to raise a very immature woman, who never had the blessing of spending so long in such a dark place. A submissive, empty, ignorant but very beautiful woman.
No. I needed more. I needed Asrael.
“I want you to hurt me.” She said, meaning a whole variety of things, including sexually.
So, I did as she asked. I threw her against the wall hard enough to blast the stucco out on the other side. I used my powers, I didn't even bother moving my arm, with just a glance I sent her body across the room.
She screamed, her eyes closed, and I let her fall to the floor, unconscious.
I got to my feet, and using my one good unbitten hand, I pulled her skinny, but still quite heavy body onto my bed, my other hand dripping blood everywhere. I tried moving it, but the agony of crushed bones prevented me from moving it.
She was out cold.
“God damn it.” I said, cleaning her body with one hand, wiping her pussy, her asshole far too crusty for a one handed man to tackle. I dared not used any scented oils on her, lest her nose become offended.
“Fuck.” I said, finally collapsing next to her on my bed.
I was so tired. This whole thing was so intense.
Before I passed out, I made her dinner. My mangled hand bleeding all over my house. Joe told me what her nutritional requirements would be, if she wanted to heal naturally rather than miraculously. Inside my bedroom, she breathed slowly, lips slightly separated, eyebrows in a scowl so hateful for so long, her skull looked hateful.
It was funny.
What we considered miraculous on Earth was just how things worked daily in this realm.
Old hat. No big deal.
Your will producing matter, changing things, moving things, creating things.
Like a 200LB emaciated wolf-woman.
Who was kind of a bitch, but that's okay, it's technically all my fault.
I collapsed next to her, again, staring at her once quite sexy feet.
“Stop looking at my feet. You don't deserve them.” She said, coming to.
“You're right. I don't.”
“You don't deserve to suck them, fuck them, lick them, any of it. You fucking nephilim bastard.” She growled out. Her voice was so deep and terrifying. She was definitely worthy of the power of majesty of her people. I lay next to her, unmoved.
I turned in bed to stare into the hateful eyes of my wife.
“I know.”
Her eyebrows furrowed even more hatefully as I agreed with her.
“May I heal my hand? It's kind hard to care for you this way.”
“No.”
“Alright. I'll try and hide it from Joe but in a way he already knows.”
“You're manipulating me into getting out of pain. I want you to feel every last drop. I would eat every part of your body if I could.”
“Go ahead. Do you want sauce, spices to go with me? I'll lay here, if you want. Start with my dick. You seem to be preoccupied with sex. Well, that's one of the things I love about you. And no, I am trying, pretty hard, not to manipulate you. I am stating facts, Joe is everywhere, and he is nowhere. It's hard to explain my connection to him.”
I looked into her confused eyes. She had never been created to understand the things I did- she didn't need to. I was created to care for her and love her.
Who gives a shit that I had an interdimensional spacecraft hovering outside that worked on a tiny reactor that transresonated with the frequency of light. Who cares that I had designed it and built it by hand.
Who cares when my wife wanted a divorce.
All that mattered was love.
“You won't tell him?” I shook my head.
Instantly she was on me again, and this time the pain was too much to bear.
I began to weep as she ripped flesh, pulled, jerked, and tore, crushed bones as she snarled, that dead-fixed look of a predator from Hell, in the act of mercilessly killing its prey, bringing it to the ground so they could take their time eating their organs as the animal went into shock and mercifully shifted into the next world.
She knelt over me, panting, her eyes wide, ears perked fully up, her flesh hairless, slimy and stinking, my blood flowing and dripping out of her mouth as she panted, blank eyed with no mercy or compassion whatsoever. I was terrified, and in agony.
She stood over me for a while, when her face softened, she closed her eyes, utterly ashamed of her impulsiveness.
She stepped a rotted foot in my opened chest, stepping on my half consumed organs, my body screaming out for healing.
I endured it.
She stepped off of me and ventured out into the wilderness.
I tried calling to her but stopped myself.
My body was shutting down, and I was growing weary.
Soon, I was asleep.
~
I woke up in the hospital.
Another nephilim was healing me, but it was taking time. The damage was intense.
“This body is taking some damage. It's terrifying to think she's out there.”
I sighed.
“Is she okay?” I asked.
He looked at me, scoffing.
He was kind of a dick.
“I kind of hope she's not.”
“She's my Resonant.”
“Who cares? I don't want to end up in her belly. Not like this. Jesus.”
Yeah he was probably going to need to be recycled a few more times before he fully developed his empathy.
“Whatever. Just do your job. I have to find her.” I wheezed out as he reconstructed my body.
~
I found her squatting down in the forest, her eyes wide, waiting.
“You healed yourself. You lied to me.”
“I passed out. When I woke up I was being healed by a doctor. I don't know if Joe knows or not. I don't want you to be harmed.”
“By Joe?”
“Maybe. I don't know. I have to earn your trust.”
“You have it. Now go away.”
“As you wish. Before I go, can I bring you anything?” I asked, submitting to her.
“Yes. My strength is returning. I am hungry.” She said, looking me up and down.
“Hungry for something that isn't you.” She said with a growl, and a scowl.
I chuckled and she returned it with a scoff and a grin.
“You are beautiful. I will do as you ask.”
“Kill yourself.”
I manifested a gun and blew my brains out. My body collapsed to the ground, my mind ruined, my thoughts cored-out by the vacuum behind the bullet.
Asrael screamed, backing, terrified, into the forest over how quickly, and terribly I obeyed her.
“Oh no oh no.” She whimpered, thoughts of going back to Hell going through her mind- and how terrible that would have been. She had existed in the highest realm long enough to absorb some of its resonance, and the idea of going back to a darker place was no longer remotely desirable for her.
“Heal yourself! Heal yourself!” She begged, coming to my side, and looking around, terrified and desperate.
Except, I couldn't. My will was broken. I couldn't form the thoughts.
Because, in this realm, you didn't die, either, regardless of your injuries.
“Heal yourself. No heal yourself. Heal yourself! HEAL YOURSELF! HEAL YOURSELF!!!” She roared, her hands on her head, her eyes terrified.
Well, what was left of my mind was sufficiently confused and terrified by her roar.
The gun was a 357 magnum so it sufficiently cleaned my mind out.
Except now she was pissed.
Asrael stormed off.
~
Joe, and her returned, and stared at my body. My eyes were closed.
“Fix it.” She said, angrily.
Joe walked around my body to face her.
“How did this happen.”
“I told him to kill himself. He did.”
Joe stared angrily at his once beloved creation.
“I used to love you so much. Remember when I tickled your ribs and you would laugh?” He said.
“I don't care. Fix him.” She said, feeling our connection broken. She was growing used to being close to my frequency.
“Why do you care all of a sudden.”
“I don't want to get into trouble. If Lucifer finds out I will be in trouble.”
“Lucifer has no power here.”
“Do you want Nephilim power?” Joe asked, standing over my body.
Joe healed me instantly.
“There. Now you have his powers.” He said, and walked away.
Asrael used her mind to crush my chest as I stood there, hearing the bones break, the tears streaming down my face.
She grinned, from ear to ear.
When her strength failed her, as it took quite a bit of energy to manifest, I collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. Tears streamed down my face as I looked into the eyes of the woman I loved so dearly.
“Please... Can I fix this.” I wheezed as my ribs cracked with my breathing.
“No.”
I gritted my teeth and collapsed in the forest.
“Come on. You will make me food. I want a new body. Did you hear me? I said come on.”
“You're becoming sadistic.” I wheezed out, unable to move.
“Good. I'm loving it. Damn it makes me so hungry.” She said, scratching her chest.
“I can't move. I'm in too much pain.”
Asrael turned and forced me to my feet with her mind, then slammed me against a tree with a wave of her hand, multiplying my agony.
I wept inside. And out.
Deep down, I cried out to Joe. I couldn't take it any more.
Joe turned back around down the path leading to my home, and headed back to us.
He did not heal me, instead, he made my pain her pain with a wave of his hand. His eyes glowed with an intensity that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Asrael collapsed to the ground, gasping for air while clutching her chest, wheezing terribly, wide eyed and terrified.
“Now you'll feel everything he does. And him you.”
He chuckled.
“Enjoyyyyy!” He said sarcastically and walked away.
~
“HEAL YOURSELF! HEAL YOURSELF!”
She screamed, gasping for air.
So, I did, and relieved both of our agony.
She stood there, a seven foot tall wolf woman, panting, confused and wide-eyed.
“You said you were hungry.” I said, recovering.
“That hurt so much!” She looked at me terrified.
“That's what you feel when I do that!? When I eat you?!”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“All that time? It hurt THAT bad?!” She said, her ears falling back on her head, her eyes wide, and terrified in a whole new way.
“Well, quite a bit worse, actually, compared to what you did to me earlier that was like a 3 out of ten.”
“What did the past ones feel like?” She said, breathless, the terrible truth of how much I loved her beginning to seep into her mind, painfully erasing the negativity.
“Eleven out of ten or more.”
Her face melted, and contorted, horrified. She could not accept that I would submit this deeply to her. To her, I was still the haughty, proud, horny Nephilim man who had tortured and victimized her in my lust and ignorance of her heart.
“You... You did that for me?” She asked, her head cocked, her face utterly confused.
I nodded.
She looked angry, confused, and terrified.
“You need to know I love you. I would do anything for you.”
“I have a Nephilim slave?”
I nodded.
“It'll take time. Stop worrying about it. Do not be afraid, Asrael. For, I love you and care for you a great deal. To me, there is nothing more beautiful in creation than my wolf-woman. Nothing.”
I didn't tell her, that even if she didn't choose me, that I would be fine with it, even if it hurt like Hell. Because I loved her. My filthy, thin-skinned partially rotted wolf-woman I was head over heels in love with. She didn't feel sexy, valuable, desired, but to me, she was far hotter and more desirable than that white-furred, blonde haired wolf woman God was going to create for someone. Because, we had history. We had endured multiple, difficult lives. We had been through so much. And, I loved her. Not because she had a sexy body and intimacy with her was so amazing. I loved her because my highest Choice, my best Pick, on the highest realm where I was still innocent... Was her.
Because even though she did not know she had made her choice... She had made her choice.
~
Asrael and I walked home that day. She was a bewildered, confused, overwhelmed.
“Can I give you your new body? You asked for it.”
“Can I do it?” She asked, wanting to test her new powers.
“It hurt the whole time?” She said, her mind numb, her words a whisper.
“Every second.”
“But why!” She exclaimed, turning to me, her face angry, now. “WHY would you let me do that to you!”
“Because I love you.” I said, staring sympathetically into her fractured yellow orange eyes.
“That's not love! It's hate!” She yelled, suddenly confused, and angry. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips threatened to reveal her teeth, which they did, a little.
“I took your hate.” I said. “Do you think I didn't deserve every pain? Remember how I treated you?”
“Yes but you never hurt me that bad! Not like that!” She said, recalling our first life together in this realm, because to her, in a way, what I did to her, felt worse than any mauling she delivered to me.
“Your heart matters, Asrael. Sometimes heart-pain is worse than physical pain. It's why we get recycled on Earth over and over. So we learn to be better. If we don't learn, our lessons become more and more extreme until we are forced to deal with anything that is harming Creation.”
“Let me heal you.” I said. “I don't know if he gave you access to his files on Creation.” Asrael cocked her head, as her eyes narrowed, exploring the new powers she had of her mind.
“It'll feel good, I promise.”
“Okay.” She said, the connection between us completely broken as she retreated inside her mind over how much pain I endured willingly to show her, prove to her, I had changed. Over how this new knowledge changed everything.
I tried accessing her file but I could not achieve resonance with her, she had been too negative for too long. Even I was not powerful enough for some things. Some things needed Joe.
“We have to go to Joe.”
“I don't want to.”
“Why?” I asked, looking at her filthy, broken, limping body.
“I'm scared.”
She was showing the whites of her eyes now. I hadn't seen that look in six thousand years, when I flipped out on her in my first life, and beat her so badly she joined a rebellion against us. Her mind was reeling, but I needed to let her work through it.
“You know he loves you too, right?”
Looking around, her mind was beginning to rearrange her understanding of her present existence.
“It hurt that bad?” She whispered, wide-eyed.
“Worse.” She looked at me and a tear fell down her face, her lips separated slightly, and she breathed through her mouth, and not her nose. Her breath was every bit as terrible as you would imagine a creature who had lived in filth for eons.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she collapsed, but I guided her down so she would not hurt herself.
She looked at me, utterly terrified of me. I touched her face. She recoiled in wide-eyed horror, lest she experience the pain she had caused me when she mauled me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, looking into her eyes, at her body, and back into her eyes.
“I'm not ugly to you?” She asked, summoning up her drastically different looks. “Why not a Nephilim woman! Why choose me! I'm just... A stupid Wolven!”
“You're beautiful. Joe added enough wolf in my waters of life that I don't desire a Nephilim woman. Not at all, actually. I despise them, mostly. I desire you.”
“Even now?”
“I mean, kind of. You're not the woman I married in the beginning of existence.” I didn't add that yeah, I would definitely fuck her, even like that. Hey, I was a Nephilim, after all. We would fuck almost anything, and deny it later if it soiled our reputation.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she sensed my thoughts. I looked down.
“Sorry.” I said. She grinned, sort of, and bit her lip with a long canine as she looked at me.
“Uhhhhm.” She said, and if there was any hair on her cheeks, it would have fluffed out in a blush, as her fear turned into sexual desire for me.
“Iiiiiii...” She said, her eyes taking me in as prey, but not to kill and consume me.
I looked into her eyes, not daring to assume anything.
“Yes?” I asked, staring at the large wolf-head, studying her, tasting of her slowly changing aura, which while it was not love, it was growing slightly less offensive, much like her stench, as the frequency in this realm began to resonate her higher.
Her eyes looked up, and down instinctively at me. She swallowed, hard.
“Umm.” She smiled, and for the first time, my wife began to come out of her.
I touched her scalp, where her long head-hair should have been.
“We're equals now.”
Her face went confused again.
“You love me.” She said in silent bewilderment. It was what I lacked in the past realm.
I nodded. “I love you.”
“This is hard.” She said, looking down.
I nodded. “I know. Imagine being on Earth with no memories of my previous life, and realizing I have you as a wife. Or, that you even existed at all. In a realm where we only know four-footed wolves. It was a trip. But I am so glad Joe showed you to me.”
“Strange.” She said, bewildered and in her own mind.
“Beautiful.” I corrected, folding my hands and remaining under her subjection. She looked at me.
She smiled, slightly.
She closed her eyes and tears began to fall.
“I hurt you.”
“Yes, and it was beautiful.”
“Why?” She said through the sobs.
“Because it brought you to understand that I have deep emotions for you.”
“How deep?”
“As deep as the oceans of living waters that flow through the universe.”
“I was talking about your dick.” She said, her aura still fairly dark. Between her legs her bodys natural lubrication ran down her leg. Her eyes glowed softly with desire, and she bit her lip just a little harder.
I laughed, biting my lip as I surveyed her body.
SHE was the reason I was insatiable on Earth. Torturing me with her insatiable sexual desires via our crimson strand.
“May I say something?” I said, still touching her face.
“Mhm.” She said, nodding, her aura now one of pure sexuality- her entire psyche beginning to change as her high sexuality was forcing her to desire me, changing the way she thought about me.
“I'll make love to you right now. I'll eat your crusty asshole, lick your pussy, suck your uh...” I said, looking at her half rotted feet.
“Um. Feet stubs. I will do as Asrael desires.” I said, growing a little sick over the idea, but willing, nontheless.
She began to stir, touching her breasts and oh shit. Yep. I had awakened the beast. Oh boy. I began to grow worried but in an entirely different way.
“Buuut, we can't let sex get in the way of your healing.” I squeaked out, knowing stopping the monster would only enrage it.
She became the woman in hell again, and I saw her hateful, enraged eyes came back over my rejection of her. Her lips curled up and that terrifying, deep guttural snarl returned, growing in crescendo. I did not move, I was not afraid, and that scared a part of her.
She tore into my neck, then yelped, screaming and falling back as she flailed wildly gasping and choking and thrashing, her wolf side coming out in the forms of pained, terrified yelps, roars, and human like screams.
“HEAL IT! FIX IT!” She screamed and roared through agonized gargles, snarls, and yelps.
“Is that. What. You want?” I said gagging and choking on my own blood, coughing it as mist in the air above me.
She ran to me, gasping for air, tripping and falling on her feet stubs, and tried to fix me with her mind, but her mind was too terrified, she was in too much pain, and she was too unschooled to wield her powers, yet.
“YES! YES! DO IT! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!”
I nodded, and re- centered myself, forcing myself to push passed the pain and heal my own body using my powers.
I got to my knees, coughing. My blood was soaked into my new shirt from the injuries she caused.
Her eyes were terrified, her entire body shaking, so I slapped her ass to let her know it was okay- except it had the opposite effect, as she got to her feet, charged me, and instantly bit my arm off.
She screamed so loudly I think all of heaven heard her. Her people were known for their roars, even louder than a lion, in this realm, there was no more feared animal-hybrid than the wolf-human combination. Even the lion people and cat people did not possess jaws as powerful, or muscles as efficient. Their claws could tear, but the wolf-person would take the tearing, grabbing the creatures head hair, and crushing their necks, decapitating their predator-prey in two quick motions during blood fights.
She pushed through the agony in her blood rage and bit my neck, tearing my throat out, again.
I passed out and so did she.
When I woke up, she was still passed out.
She needed rest.
And, so did I.
It took her a day to come back, and when she did it was with terrified, desperate gasps for air, mixed with accented, amplified yelps, hollow human screams, reverting to a feral form of herself as her humanity was stripped away by her agony.
By our agony.
“Cah... I... Hee... Myel”
“YES!! HEAL YOURSELF you stupid piece of Nephilim shit! If you're lucky you will have my body tonight cos if I don't get it from you I am going to rape Joe! God damn it I am so fucking horny!” She hissed out through the pain.
I did as she desired, and instantly I was on her, kissing her.
Confused, suddenly angry, she growled at me.
“You're horny. Can I take care of that?”
“I'M VERY fucking horny for some reason!” She said, adjusting to the healing she was receiving just by having her consciousness exist in this highest realm.
“If I don't fuck you before you get your new body, you will not know that I love you even in this form. And not love like before. This is the love that will let you go, if you need time. Love that only honors the tender passionate beauty of the core of Joe's creation. Of the woman known as Asrael. The woman I love more than my own existence.”
“Okay.” She said, still confused, panting.
“May I? I'm sorry for jumping on you and kissing you like that. We've been through a lot lately.”
“We have.” She said, tears falling down her eyes as she looked so deeply in my own, before her eyes defocused and she retreated back into her soul. Our connection was beginning to grow. It was... severed pretty completely at times, but it was beginning the lover's dance all over again. I wanted to hold her hand.
“So... What do you want to do?”
Her stomach growled, which honestly made me jumpy.
“I'm sorry...” She said so softly, through the tears, I barely understood her.
“For what?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “You know!”
“Asking for sex? What's wrong with that? I'm actually kind of curious what it feels like.”
“FOR HURTING YOU! You stupid, horny Nephilim fuck.” She said, spitefully, her Hell-rage bubbling back up into her soul.
“When?”
By now she was furious, Her fists balled, and breathing sharply through her nose, her eyes wide in that vicious predator rage. She had three times my strength even now, easily. “Bred for labor” my fellow Nephilim joked behind closed doors about her people. But, I loved her people. I loved the Wolven. To me they were more beautiful than any Nephilim, more graceful and regal as well. I would rather spend an infinite eternities with her people than with my own.
“Just. Now.”
“You didn't hurt me, you just growled.”
“The throat thing? The stomach thing? The hand thing? Look at your shirt! Who's blood is that! The first time when you were on Earth? You stupid fucking Nephilim you don't remember any of that?” Good. Her personality was beginning to come out.
I blinked rapidly, trying to access these events she spoke of.
“Um. Uh. You sure you weren't imagining it or something? Like, in a dream?”
She got to her feet, grabbed my long hair, cried out over how much it hurt her in our mutual connection, but did not let go, and drag-walked me as far as she could stand it, then pushed my head away, throwing me to the ground. I caught up and walked next to her.
“You're gonna remember. You maybe blanked it out because it hurt so bad. But you'll remember. Oh, you'll remember.” She said, her hands still balled into fists.
“I'm not weak.” She said, looking me up and down.
“I'm not fragile like you.” She said with a scoff through her nose. I looked up at her and nodded.
“I know.”
Eventually we got to Joes.
“Fix this. His memory is gone!” She said, shoving me into Joe. I fell into him, and we both tumbled a little.
We both got to our feet.
I gave joe a confused look with an exaggerated shrug.
“TELL HIM I HURT HIM! Look. Look at this blood. I did that. He doesn't remember.” She said, tearing my shirt as I was tossed effortlessly by her.
“When?” Joe asked, looking at me.
The look on her face was priceless. Her eyes went wide and Joe took a step back when you could see her rage turn from me, to Joe.
“Hey, hey, whoa, whoa. You're two feet taller than me but I got powers too!” He said, moving his arms around as if casting an exaggerated magical spell, but looking a little worried, his eyes fell on me. There was some sort of cosmic blue green joint in his mouth and his eyes were bloodshot. I could tell he wanted to chuckle and laugh but didn't because Asrael wasn't herself, yet. She wasn't his Beloved little girl. She still held so much negative energy.
In a way her negativity was her identity. She needed to let it go, and embrace the positivity that was beginning to seep into her consciousness.
“I fucking killed you. A few times.” She said focusing her rage again on me. Her mental acuity was returning beautifully to her as she stared hatefully at me, then Joe.
“What are you saying I'm weak? That I didn't hurt you?” She hissed out hatefully.
“No, I'm saying if you did it doesn't matter any more. That whatever negative effects you think it should have on him, that it doesn't have those effects. He loves you, Asrael.” She turned her eyes to me, her teeth gritted, her breath bringing forth a growl, her eyes hatefully boring holes inside of me. I stood there, head bowed, ready to receive her rage again. I sighed, and took in breath through my mouth.
She closed her eyes and began to weep deeply.
I'm talking open muzzle wails, chest spasming with sorrow, I also literally could feel in my gut. Many who were bustling and walking around Heaven stopped to stare at the bizarre scene, a human man with a bloodstained white tshirt and jeans, and a sickly footless wolf-woman wailing into the sky.
Soon the connection Joe gave us, overwhelmed me and I was balling, too.
She crawled over to me and held me so tightly it hurt, protecting me from herself, telling me she loved me, so she released me partially for my comforts sake.
“YOU'RE SO FRAGILE!” She said through the tears, her muzzle comically pointed up as she wailed. I could tell she was sorry. And that she was beginning to come to terms with her own strength. Truly, she was powerful. Far more powerful than I.
Soon my sobbing turned to laughter, and she tried to laugh, too, wide- eyed and still terrified, trying to look at her true love through teary eyes.
“You were soft this whole time?!” She asked, ears back, telling me she would no longer hurt me. Or, at least make an effort not to.
“Yes, duh.” I said.
“I'm scared!”
“Why? You're the one with the teeth.” I chuckled.
~
This intro to one of the novels I am writing about the recent visions I have had, and an introduction to the Creation who holds the other half of my spiritual heart, puts into words the love I have for her.
Be forewarned, this story is weird, it's gross (Disgusting) it's violent, it's bloody, it's angry, vicious, and violent.
But, I also want to believe it is also beautiful. It is a story about redemption. I am not posting the whole thing because I intend to self-publish my novels, because eating sometimes is nice.
BE FOREWARNED
Here is my fictionalized (not canon as related to my visions and other-worldly discoveries) version of my story based on recent events surrounding visions I have had in the early morning hours approximately a month ago. I am a science-fiction love-story novelst and I've written about 20 novels related to a wolf-like people on another planet. Little did I know I was writing about a very real people that do exist in another spiritual plane of Resonance (Existence).
I was "Given over to the devil" a number of years ago (See my posts and introduction) and my body, which I believe is an avatar for a soul-person was ripped apart by a dark entity I now realize was a hybrid woman of Gods creation, that I was "Married" (She was my charge, I was more powerful than she was in that realm, somehow, even though physically she could tear me apart) to her and to care for her, but because I was ignorant of her and her heart, I was a pleasure-seeking selfish self centered being who took her for granted, and caused her emotional and physical pain and grief until she couldn't take my abuse and neglect, and joined an angelic rebellion so she would not have to be under my subjugation any more.
This is one of several novels, where I explore her Wolven people, where when I kick my air addiction in this realm (When I eventually die as all humans in this realm do) Asrael has "Repented" already and God (Joe) has returned her beautiful coat to her, and restored her once hateful heart, so that she no longer hates me (And rightfully hated me. I willingly bear her rage against me. I deserve it for not "seeing" her in the first realm, according to the spiritual things I am being shown. This is without drugs of any kind although I tend to drink at night. What caused my third eye to open? Trauma. Terrible, endless trauma and spiritual emotional pain so great this realm became unbearable, and my mind needed to resonate with a higher realm, eventually, out of misery.) This is one of twelve more novels I am working on, but this one I am focusing on because I resonate with it. When I say redemption, I mean her, and I both.
Well anyway, enjoy the first handful of chapters to the novel.
"Dark Asrael: A redemption story"
I died. On the Earth realm, something mortal happened, and my life-force left my human body.
“Please don't hurt me.” I spoke into the darkness, in terrible pain.
“I... won't... hurt... You. Please...” Her voice was deep, low, and labored.
She paused, and I heard her breathing change, a little. She grew excited.
“Please.” She said, again.
“Please... Don't... Hurt... Me. I... am... Sorry.” She wasn't genuine. How could she be? In this realm, she had bathed in her rage for eons.
I heard her begin to weep, but it was a very slow and labored mourning. It was half laughter. I grew afraid of her, of her rage.
She was far more powerful than I.
“Will you step into the light? Can I see you?”
“Do... you... love... me?” She said, mockingly. Or, was it genuine? It didn't matter. I was her Resonant. I was also her sacrifice.
“More than the universe and all that's in it.” I wheezed, my body damaged by her rage.
I could see the tears streaming down her filthy face as she remained just behind the light. Yet, her aura remained one of hatred.
“Not. Like before. And... I'm sorry. I am the one that needs to be sorry. I didn't know.” I said, tears streaming down my face over how I had wronged her in a past life.
“Didn't... know... what? Please... be... kind... to... me... Please... don't... hurt... me.” She was genuinely scared. I desired to calm her.
“I will not hurt you. I didn't know how special you were. I couldn't see it. I didn't know how much I loved you. I needed to be away from you to learn this painful lesson.” I said, trying to be as real as I could in this situation.
“I'm so sorry, Asrael.” I whispered softly in the darkness. Yes, it was dark, but it was slightly brighter around me. Countless figures stood around me, wanting to transcend to a realm with a higher frequency. Wanting out of the stench, the heat, and desiring healing waters.
They didn't want to be there any more. They stood in a higher vibration that saturated the darkness by courtesy of my presence there.
“I never want to hurt you, again.”
“R-” She began to say, but her throat was so dry she was unable to speak.
“Really?” Her mind transitioned to one of painful repentance so quickly it scared me.
And yet, I still felt her black rage.
“Yes.”
“What...do... I.. have... to... do?”
“Do?”
“To... be... your... wife...” She said, half mocking, half hopeful.
She swallowed.
“Again?” She said after swallowing, her throat and muzzle very dry. Her throat was beginning to hurt, I could sense it.
“The crimson strand that connects us was never severed. May I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
I felt her consciousness shift into the old first realm. Where she belonged to me, willingly. Where she loved me.
Where she was my slave.
And where I lorded my power over her. Took her for granted...
Where I raped her.
Where I beat her.
“What does Asrael want?”
“My...” She swallowed.
“Husband.”
“He was an asshole.”
Her throat made a sound that I hoped was laughter.
“Don't... be... an... asshole. Please. Please. I.. can't... handle... your... anger. Don't... hurt... me... I..”
She swallowed again.
“I... love... you. Please... Be... Nice.” She was so incredibly vulnerable in this state. Though she towered over me, with the muzzle of a bear and vicious teeth to match, she was mostly terrified of me, and just partly missing me, her husband in another realm, the realm outside of Bannishment.
“I will. I promise. I want to get to know you.”
More weeping from her. I still felt her hatred. She wasn't wrong. I was cruel to her in the first realm. I tricked her, I deceived her. She was pure, innocent, and made of love. But my ignorant, selfish cruelty had twisted her soul. It had harmed her. And now, I reaped my reward for such things. I learned to bear it gladly. I learned to let her anger teach me.
I became a better man. I desired no other, though I could have whom I desired in any realm. I desired this dark woman, her once shimmering coat lost, her skin, covered in sores, her feet, filthy, and her eyes, ones of pure, vicious hatred.
Angry, hateful, vicious, wild eyes closed, Asrael lifted one rotting foot from the sludge of hell, and it hovered in the hot air.
“Please...” She begged.
“What?” I asked, excited, scared, angry, horny, confused, yet hopeful. Still, I remained submissive. And would, forever. To my love.
“Will... you... be... kind? Please.” She whispered in the darkness, to self-conscious of her present state, a far cry from her original form, to show herself to me, lest I laugh and mock her, as I perhaps did, in the highest realm.
“I promise you I will never take you for granted again. And, if I do, I may need to do this crap again. Or, we will talk about it. Please, don't be hurt. I am not perfect...” I said, choking on my own blood.
“Neither... Am... I. You... were... delicious.” I saw her wicked smile, and for a moment I was worried as she stepped into the light, a devious grin on her terrifying muzzle.
I felt the power in me surge through me, to bring harm to these creatures, I grew furious, for a moment, at her, at them- but I neither pitied nor hated them. I was somewhat indifferent. Except, I loved Asrael.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“I... can't. You... will... punish... me.”
“What if I wouldn't. What if you needed to know I've changed? I want to earn your trust.”
“You... had... it... once...” She growled as she stepped into the light, opened her hateful eyes, and feasted on a part of my body.
I gritted my teeth, trying not to scream, and I felt some of the creatures down there, went from being afraid of me to wanting to join the feast. TO wanting to add to my pain, as they assumed I was still vulnerable, still in need of correction.
I began to go into shock as she crunched on my bones, tears falling from my eyes from the pain.
“Keep going.” I whimpered when she stopped to stare at my face, taking in my agony, enjoying my pain.
“I'm... so... hungry.” She said, pleading with me.
She took another few terrible bites then stopped, and began to weep.
She fell next to me, on her ass.
Some time passed.
“That's going to take some time to heal.” I said, looking at my mauled body, breathing heavily, and regretting asking her to keep going, but knowing I had to. I felt myself desire other women, desiring a heart transplant from her chest, but gritted my teeth, and stared down at her.
“Are you okay?” I said, my face stained with my tears, and me, choking on my fear.
“I'M... SORRY!” She roared, her anger returning, and I watched her get to her feet, her lips lifted, the black filth of hell, and my flesh dangling in her vicious wolf's maw. Or, should I say bear? Because it was the size of a bears.
A little imp came running over to me to stick a sharpened stick in me, when, with a vicious rage, I blew him apart with my powers, the rage of my Nephilim will, his molecules separated and screaming in agony, splattered all over hell. Asrael gasped, horrified, for she knew a part of me was her cruel master, still. He still existed inside of me.
Suddenly, each of them stood back. I stared hatefully at the screaming agonized viscera I had just created, sending the frequency of pure agony all throughout that realm, where such things energized life down there. More demons ran to the agony, wishing to feast on it. This realm was chaos.
Asrael's eyes went wide, her snarl turned to a face of fear, slowly, as her body was so dehydrated.
Suddenly, terror gripped my wife, and she tried to run from me, though I knew if she was healthy, her body was capable of much higher speeds.
“WAIT!!! I WON'T HURT YOU!!! PLEASE!!! COME BACK!!! PLEASE!!!”
I shouted into the inky blackness of hell, begging for her.
Soon, off in the distance, I heard her unique sobs, through her large muzzle.
“I'M... SORRY!”
“I know, baby, I know!” I shouted back, tears falling down my face.
“Please... Don't... Hurt... Me.” She said, speaking between the sobs, her soul down there now doubly destroyed in confused anger and pity.
“I won't. Please, come back.” I whispered into the night.
Slowly, she padded her way through the slush back into the light, surveying my agonizing wounds, more tears coming down her face.
“What's... Going... To... Happen?”
“I... don't know. I was told not to be afraid.”
“You... let... me... hurt... you, a... Nephilim! I... will... be... banished, punished!”
“You answer to me for that. I am your judge, jury, and executioner.” I said, with authority.
“What.. will... you... do to... me?”
“Love you.”
She scoffed in the dim light.
“It's... a... Nephilim... trick. Cruel... your... people... are... so... cruel.”
“You're right. I was.”
“Why...” Asrael whispered into the darkness.
“Because you need to know I won't hurt you.”
“Then... let... me... feast.”
“I'll be honest it's pretty painful.”
“I.. can... decapitate... you. It... will.. hurt.. less.”
“I will allow you to do as Asrael desires. However, understand that eventually you will be given a choice. And each time you hurt me, you will have to deal with that in a much higher realm.”
“Deal... with? You'll... punish... me.”
“No. I won't. But, you will. Punish yourself. And I don't want you to harm yourself because of me anymore. You'll have to come to terms with the fact that you caused the man who loves you... Pain. Feast, my love. Feast on me.”
“No... I... Don't... want... to.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and her head cocked, her hateful eyes studying me. I felt a very real connection occur with her, right then. I closed my eyes, savoring the love I had for my wife.
“I'm... Sorry.”
“Don't be. Can I touch your face?”
She instinctively got to her knees, and placed her large wolf-shaped bear-sized head in my hand, but she did not close her eyes at first. She could not form expressions in this realm, outside of hatred.
“I... was... your... slave. Before.”
“I know. I am so, so sorry.”
She opened her eyes, and a single tear fell from her left eye.
“Do... you... love... me?”
“With all of my heart, the other half, that beats in your sexy chest.”
She grinned and chuckled. She had tortured me with her insatiable sexuality while I was on Earth. I had hated my libido, unstoppable, always driving me. I chuckled when I saw her in a vision back on Earth, and realized it was her libido I was feeling... Not mine.
“You... didn't... have... to... say... that.”
“I know. You are so beautiful, Asrael.” I said, softly touching her furless cheek, her beautiful coat falling from her body eons ago. I was careful not to cause her any pain, as her skin was thin, blackened and sensitive.
She scoffed and moved her head away from me. “Now... I... know... you're... a... lying... Nephilim... bastard.”
She struggled to get back to her feet.
“Please don't go. You ARE beautiful, Asrael. You're confusing beautiful with pretty.”
“SO... I'm... Not... pretty?” She looked at me hatefully.
I shook my head, no.
That earned me a growl.
I reached out to the destroyed imp, it's viscera desperately attempting to come back together, because in this realm...
You never died.
No matter what.
With the power and force of my will, my hand extended out, I channeled Gods blueprints in my brain, got Tito's design, and restored his life-force, healing him.
He was fully healthy now, restored with bright white skin, his distorted and cancerous features now gone.
“Fuck off.” I growled with a hateful voice, as a warning to the rest.
He ran into the crowd in the light, screeching with angelic joy.
I closed my eyes and manifested a glass of the coolest, most healing water I could, and handed it to Asrael.
“May... I... have... some?”
I saw her jaw quiver. She licked the inside of her 6,000 year old dry mouth, only quenched by the blood of her victims... And blood from my body.
“You can have it all. Please, take it, I'm in some pain.”
“Good.” She said, as she took the glass from my hands and drank.
“Sure you don't want to hurt me more?”
She greedily drank the water, and a few of the creatures of the dark had the guts to step forward and ask for water. I denied them all.
I wasn't here for them.
I was here for her.
“Give... them... water.” She asked, her throat quenched, her voice softer.
“Fuck. God, I need help. You know they'll all want some and I want my time with her.”
We were instantly transported to the highest realm, just Asrael and I. Light, shone all around us as my eyes painfully got used to it.
“You gonna hurt him?” Joe asked as Asrael trembled, urine running down her legs.
“NO!” She said, and began to weep, as she gritted her teeth.
He looked at me.
“You want justice for these wounds?” He said, gesturing broadly at my eviscerated body.
I winced, over the movement, still in pain.
“Hell no.” I growled, in agony.
“Seems like you like her. Do you want me to change out your Resonant? Give you another?” Joe said as he showed me a variety of beautiful, sexy Creation, all compatible with my hearts frequency.
Next to me, Asrael sobbed in horror, her feet somewhat decayed, and she fell on her ass, weeping.
“Wow. Damn. Hot. And no. I want her.” I said, pointing to the woman I had wronged so badly she willingly chose to be trapped in the darkest realm, with a hand she had partially eaten.
“Can I heal you?” I asked Asrael.
“You're in pain.” I finished.
“You stink.” Joe said to her.
She held her hand out for mercy.
“I... not... ready.”
I looked at Joe.
“Wanna go back?” He asked. I shook my head. “Noooo. Thanks.”
Joe chuckled.
“I have to do right by My creation, too.”
“I know. Thanks for giving me the love of my life.” I said, honestly grateful for the sobbing, partially rotted wolf-woman who wept next to me.
“May I uh. Be healed?”
She lay there, coiled in a filthy ball, sobbing. I touched her arm and she jumped, gasping, looking at Joe and I with such terror. My body a carcass without legs and only one arm, my head bashed in and separated from my body.
I was a work of art in the dark realm, twisted in agony.
I held my hand out to her, her terrified eyes welling with tears not only from her fear, but also from the agony of the light in this place. But, she bore it well. I didn't have legs, I was only an eviscerated torso. And I was glad to be so. The lessons I learned in the Earth realm were terrible, but turned out to be beautiful, in the end.
And, she was a tough girl. She had to be. To be my wife.
“What do I do?” I asked, wincing.
Joe turned to Asrael and pointed to her.
“He asked you if he could heal. He is enduring this...” he said, pointing at my mangled body as my blood leaked out onto Joe's floor.
“Because he loves you. He doesn't want another. He wants you.”
“I... love... him!” She shouted, through her confusion and pain, being honest, for once.
“I'm going to heal him. But you need to realize this.”
Asrael nodded, and said, “Please. Heal. Him.” Her words began to grow smoother as this realm slowly healed her.
Joe reconstructed me after finding a file of my exact essence.
“That feels so much better.” I said, laying nude on God's office floor, it having no walls. He snapped his fingers and I was clothed with a white shirt and jeans, with sandals on my feet.
“Please. Don't. Hurt. Me.” Asrael pleaded, her eyes closed, her tears washing some of the filth of her face.
“I wish you could know how much I love you. Let me prove it.”
“Okay.” She said, waiting for me to 'prove' it, and submitting to me.
“In time. What does Asrael want?”
“I. Want. Water. Please.”
Joe manifested a mug of water before I could even respond, and he handed it to her.
Seeing him with her, I could literally feel the love he had for this poor, pathetic woman.
I was so glad he had made her, exactly the way he did, and I was grateful for the scoop of wolf he poured into my essence that manifested as yellow wolf's eyes in this realm. My eyes went from blue in the Earth-realm, and a cool yellow here.
She chugged it down, then threw up an eons worth of trash, bones, and my guts.
~
Asrael began to shiver.
She was sitting on my bedroom floor.
“Already gonna fuck me.” She said, ears partially back in submission to me.
“No. No. I want you to sleep in my bed.”
“I'm not going to sleep in your bed.”
“I'll sleep in the guest bedroom. You don't have to worry.” I said, blushing, slightly at the angry wolf-woman who sat nude on my master bedroom floor.
I gathered a blanket, and she recoiled from me when I hovered over her, to rest it on her shaking body.
I got to my knees as she let her urine spill out onto the floor. She stared at me, hatefully.
“That's okay. Do you want to hurt me?” I offered her a hand, and, well, she tore into it.
“More?” I asked, gritting my teeth from the pain. When Joe healed me, I felt instantly restored from the agony I had felt for so long it had become a part of my identity.
“No.” She said, then threw up the part of me she just ate.
“You taste like shit.”
“Well, that's good to hear, I will be honest.”
“Do you love me?”
“With all of my heart, Asrael.”
“What if I hate you.”
“That's okay.”
“What if I want a different Resonant? What if I want someone else?” She said, spitefully.
“That's fine.”
She scoffed.
“Really?”
“You're perfect for me, Asrael. But Joe can do the transplant. He can do anything, you know.”
“I want a divorce, then.”
“What if you discover that I am literally perfect for you, too, and that you were meant to be with me? You sort of pissed Joe off right off the bat, do you think he will restore your heart back to me? Especially when I've experienced the love-resonance of someone elses heart and bonded with them instead of you?”
“How am I perfect for you?” She said, softly, her head low.
“Can we talk on the bed?”
“I haven't had to control my body in a long time. Sorry if it just comes out.” She said.
“The first one was on purpose.” I said, smiling knowingly.
She grinned, slightly.
“Maybe. Just a little.”
“Naughty girl. I'll clean it up.” I said with a grin. I had to accept her, filthy, stench filled partially rotted body, and all of her bodily functions.
She was my wife, after all, and I loved her.
We were bonding. I felt the connection between us grow.
I couldn't have been happier. My soul soared with the possibilities. However, I knew better than that. She wasn't the wife I had before. The tables had turned and now I needed to earn her love, a love I took for granted so long ago.
I submitted my joy to her.
“May I heal my hand?”
Asrael nodded, and I did, with my powers, my will manifesting as physicality in this realm. It was the power of the Nephilim.
I made no sounds, I made no attempt to manipulate her to no longer harm me.
“Um, well, what I know- you know how Joe hides Easter eggs in our consciousness for us to find and pick out. But, what I know, um, your feet are built powerfully, they are actually super sexy to me and I prefer them over human feet, your metatarsals are amazing, your legs are powerful and beautiful, I love your hybrid pussy, your asshole is perfect, your tail is a beautiful gateway to pleasure, I dig your breasts like completely, your hands are big and sexy, and your face... You're a big, scary, sexy creature that turns me right the fuck on. I mean really. You're beautiful beyond my wildest dreams and just looking at you makes me so, so, happy. I love you, Asrael.” I said, genuinely. I had loved her so deeply in another life. And in that realm, I was just as unworthy of her.
When I turned to look into her eyes, she turned her head, the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Okay.” She whispered, and I felt her grow a little closer to me. She didn't say it. “You don't love me.”
Instead, she said, “I've hated you for so long.”
“If you ever love me again, I want it to be because I earned every ounce of that love. I don't want you to give me a drop. Not a drop. Okay? The roles have reversed and I will be your slave.”
“A Resonant having a Nephilim as a slave. Huh.” she said, scoffing.
“Can... Can I heal your feet at least?”
She glared at me, hatefully. Like I was using a Nephilim trick to get in her pants.
“Clean them with your tongue.”
“Really? They don't hurt? Oh. You're used to it. Jesus.” I said when the universe showed me she had six thousand years of getting used to the pain of decay.
“No. Don't.” She said when I went in to clean the sludge of hell from her half rotted feet with my tongue.
“It will just turn you on and you'll rape me as usual.”
“Oh. Well, just FYI, I am repulsed by your feet, there is nothing sexy whatsoever about licking the feces, urine, and viscera of hell from your half-rotted footflesh. In fact, it may hurt you, a thought that scares me. Because I don't want to hurt you.”
“So hurt me. I demand it.”
“HURT ME!” she roared, her voice twelve times the volume of any shout I was capable of.
I sat there, next to her, ears ringing.
“I fucking said hurt me.” She repeated.
And, she was on me. Crushing my bones, tearing my flesh. I closed my eyes, enduring the agony as she ripped, tore, and crushed, and screamed when she crushed my chest, forcing air out of my lungs. On top of me, she snarled and growled, shaking me like helpless prey in her powerful maw.
“Do you like this? Is this what you want me to do?” She hissed, dropping my carcass on my bedroom floor, in her piss.
I shook my head, the bones in my neck broken. I tried to speak but I could not.
“Heal yourself and speak to me, I wish to do it again.” I nodded, and did as she requested. Slowly, the energy of the universe transmuted the particles in the air back into flesh and bone and I was healed from the inside out.
“First, while I am in fairly horrific agony , I want you to get it out. Get it all out. Take it out on me. It was my fault.”
“You said you didn't know. How can I fault you for something you didn't know.” She said, looking at me with a hellish stare.
“You said you wanted it again. Go ahead!” I said, offering my body to her.
“Is it what you want?”
“Do you want to hurt me?”
“Yes.”
“Then do it before I start getting upset.”
“What will you do if I upset you?” She asked.
“Nothing. I might go to the kitchen and get a beer. I want to sit with you as long as I can, though.” I said, honestly just wanting to be with her.
She took my hand, put it in her mouth, and looked me in my eyes. As she bit down, I gritted my teeth, and a few bones snapped until her eyes went soft, and tears fell down her cheeks.
“I don't believe you!”
“You don't believe I love you?”
She shook her head.
“What can I do to prove it?”
“If letting me eat you won't bring back my love, what do you think will? Huh, Nephilim bastard? You won't fuck it back into me, that's for sure.” She said- but she was such an insatiable creature, that was not technically true. I could re bond to her by having sex with her, over time she would be insatiable again, except if we focused on that, she would be the same bitter, hateful woman- but with added hornyness that didn't bother eating me because a mangled Dave can't fuck, growling at me the entire time I made love to her.
However, I knew in that moment she was going to love me again.
But it would take time.
“I want you to destroy me. Then you can have that other wolf-woman that made your eyes light up when Joe showed you your Compatibles. She's beautiful. I'm not. Then you can go fuck her.” She said, referring to the blond wolf-woman in the catalog Joe showed me.
“You can't be un-made, firstly, Wait.” I said, as Joe communicated something telepathically to me in that moment (He was God after all- dad.)
“Fuck, that's so sad. Okay.” I said as Joe told me he could take Asrael apart painlessly, and give her half heart, the other half of my spiritual heart, what sustained my soul and spirit, to another.
“Is that... what you want?”
She nodded, but I could feel her uneasiness. Apparently she didn't know she could be unmade. She didn't like that and began to shake, again.
“Explode me like the demon you killed.”
“No.”
“DO IT I SAID!” She said, while not the horrific shout that made my ears ring earlier, but definitely a yell only her people could make.
“No.”
“Do it.” She said, a bitter, sarcastic, cranky woman.
“Fuck you.” I said, indignant.
She smiled.
“Do you want to be unmade?” I asked her and saw the fear behind her eyes when I did. And, that blonde, white-haired wolf woman with the blue eyes- holy shit. I was going to have to look her up.
Joe, again, interfered in that instant and told me, in my mind, she didn't exist yet, she was just an idea he had- he did so telepathically and instinctively as he often did when I was on Earth. She would have to be a new creation, and she would have to very likely tour hell, and I would have to raise a very immature woman, who never had the blessing of spending so long in such a dark place. A submissive, empty, ignorant but very beautiful woman.
No. I needed more. I needed Asrael.
“I want you to hurt me.” She said, meaning a whole variety of things, including sexually.
So, I did as she asked. I threw her against the wall hard enough to blast the stucco out on the other side. I used my powers, I didn't even bother moving my arm, with just a glance I sent her body across the room.
She screamed, her eyes closed, and I let her fall to the floor, unconscious.
I got to my feet, and using my one good unbitten hand, I pulled her skinny, but still quite heavy body onto my bed, my other hand dripping blood everywhere. I tried moving it, but the agony of crushed bones prevented me from moving it.
She was out cold.
“God damn it.” I said, cleaning her body with one hand, wiping her pussy, her asshole far too crusty for a one handed man to tackle. I dared not used any scented oils on her, lest her nose become offended.
“Fuck.” I said, finally collapsing next to her on my bed.
I was so tired. This whole thing was so intense.
Before I passed out, I made her dinner. My mangled hand bleeding all over my house. Joe told me what her nutritional requirements would be, if she wanted to heal naturally rather than miraculously. Inside my bedroom, she breathed slowly, lips slightly separated, eyebrows in a scowl so hateful for so long, her skull looked hateful.
It was funny.
What we considered miraculous on Earth was just how things worked daily in this realm.
Old hat. No big deal.
Your will producing matter, changing things, moving things, creating things.
Like a 200LB emaciated wolf-woman.
Who was kind of a bitch, but that's okay, it's technically all my fault.
I collapsed next to her, again, staring at her once quite sexy feet.
“Stop looking at my feet. You don't deserve them.” She said, coming to.
“You're right. I don't.”
“You don't deserve to suck them, fuck them, lick them, any of it. You fucking nephilim bastard.” She growled out. Her voice was so deep and terrifying. She was definitely worthy of the power of majesty of her people. I lay next to her, unmoved.
I turned in bed to stare into the hateful eyes of my wife.
“I know.”
Her eyebrows furrowed even more hatefully as I agreed with her.
“May I heal my hand? It's kind hard to care for you this way.”
“No.”
“Alright. I'll try and hide it from Joe but in a way he already knows.”
“You're manipulating me into getting out of pain. I want you to feel every last drop. I would eat every part of your body if I could.”
“Go ahead. Do you want sauce, spices to go with me? I'll lay here, if you want. Start with my dick. You seem to be preoccupied with sex. Well, that's one of the things I love about you. And no, I am trying, pretty hard, not to manipulate you. I am stating facts, Joe is everywhere, and he is nowhere. It's hard to explain my connection to him.”
I looked into her confused eyes. She had never been created to understand the things I did- she didn't need to. I was created to care for her and love her.
Who gives a shit that I had an interdimensional spacecraft hovering outside that worked on a tiny reactor that transresonated with the frequency of light. Who cares that I had designed it and built it by hand.
Who cares when my wife wanted a divorce.
All that mattered was love.
“You won't tell him?” I shook my head.
Instantly she was on me again, and this time the pain was too much to bear.
I began to weep as she ripped flesh, pulled, jerked, and tore, crushed bones as she snarled, that dead-fixed look of a predator from Hell, in the act of mercilessly killing its prey, bringing it to the ground so they could take their time eating their organs as the animal went into shock and mercifully shifted into the next world.
She knelt over me, panting, her eyes wide, ears perked fully up, her flesh hairless, slimy and stinking, my blood flowing and dripping out of her mouth as she panted, blank eyed with no mercy or compassion whatsoever. I was terrified, and in agony.
She stood over me for a while, when her face softened, she closed her eyes, utterly ashamed of her impulsiveness.
She stepped a rotted foot in my opened chest, stepping on my half consumed organs, my body screaming out for healing.
I endured it.
She stepped off of me and ventured out into the wilderness.
I tried calling to her but stopped myself.
My body was shutting down, and I was growing weary.
Soon, I was asleep.
~
I woke up in the hospital.
Another nephilim was healing me, but it was taking time. The damage was intense.
“This body is taking some damage. It's terrifying to think she's out there.”
I sighed.
“Is she okay?” I asked.
He looked at me, scoffing.
He was kind of a dick.
“I kind of hope she's not.”
“She's my Resonant.”
“Who cares? I don't want to end up in her belly. Not like this. Jesus.”
Yeah he was probably going to need to be recycled a few more times before he fully developed his empathy.
“Whatever. Just do your job. I have to find her.” I wheezed out as he reconstructed my body.
~
I found her squatting down in the forest, her eyes wide, waiting.
“You healed yourself. You lied to me.”
“I passed out. When I woke up I was being healed by a doctor. I don't know if Joe knows or not. I don't want you to be harmed.”
“By Joe?”
“Maybe. I don't know. I have to earn your trust.”
“You have it. Now go away.”
“As you wish. Before I go, can I bring you anything?” I asked, submitting to her.
“Yes. My strength is returning. I am hungry.” She said, looking me up and down.
“Hungry for something that isn't you.” She said with a growl, and a scowl.
I chuckled and she returned it with a scoff and a grin.
“You are beautiful. I will do as you ask.”
“Kill yourself.”
I manifested a gun and blew my brains out. My body collapsed to the ground, my mind ruined, my thoughts cored-out by the vacuum behind the bullet.
Asrael screamed, backing, terrified, into the forest over how quickly, and terribly I obeyed her.
“Oh no oh no.” She whimpered, thoughts of going back to Hell going through her mind- and how terrible that would have been. She had existed in the highest realm long enough to absorb some of its resonance, and the idea of going back to a darker place was no longer remotely desirable for her.
“Heal yourself! Heal yourself!” She begged, coming to my side, and looking around, terrified and desperate.
Except, I couldn't. My will was broken. I couldn't form the thoughts.
Because, in this realm, you didn't die, either, regardless of your injuries.
“Heal yourself. No heal yourself. Heal yourself! HEAL YOURSELF! HEAL YOURSELF!!!” She roared, her hands on her head, her eyes terrified.
Well, what was left of my mind was sufficiently confused and terrified by her roar.
The gun was a 357 magnum so it sufficiently cleaned my mind out.
Except now she was pissed.
Asrael stormed off.
~
Joe, and her returned, and stared at my body. My eyes were closed.
“Fix it.” She said, angrily.
Joe walked around my body to face her.
“How did this happen.”
“I told him to kill himself. He did.”
Joe stared angrily at his once beloved creation.
“I used to love you so much. Remember when I tickled your ribs and you would laugh?” He said.
“I don't care. Fix him.” She said, feeling our connection broken. She was growing used to being close to my frequency.
“Why do you care all of a sudden.”
“I don't want to get into trouble. If Lucifer finds out I will be in trouble.”
“Lucifer has no power here.”
“Do you want Nephilim power?” Joe asked, standing over my body.
Joe healed me instantly.
“There. Now you have his powers.” He said, and walked away.
Asrael used her mind to crush my chest as I stood there, hearing the bones break, the tears streaming down my face.
She grinned, from ear to ear.
When her strength failed her, as it took quite a bit of energy to manifest, I collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. Tears streamed down my face as I looked into the eyes of the woman I loved so dearly.
“Please... Can I fix this.” I wheezed as my ribs cracked with my breathing.
“No.”
I gritted my teeth and collapsed in the forest.
“Come on. You will make me food. I want a new body. Did you hear me? I said come on.”
“You're becoming sadistic.” I wheezed out, unable to move.
“Good. I'm loving it. Damn it makes me so hungry.” She said, scratching her chest.
“I can't move. I'm in too much pain.”
Asrael turned and forced me to my feet with her mind, then slammed me against a tree with a wave of her hand, multiplying my agony.
I wept inside. And out.
Deep down, I cried out to Joe. I couldn't take it any more.
Joe turned back around down the path leading to my home, and headed back to us.
He did not heal me, instead, he made my pain her pain with a wave of his hand. His eyes glowed with an intensity that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Asrael collapsed to the ground, gasping for air while clutching her chest, wheezing terribly, wide eyed and terrified.
“Now you'll feel everything he does. And him you.”
He chuckled.
“Enjoyyyyy!” He said sarcastically and walked away.
~
“HEAL YOURSELF! HEAL YOURSELF!”
She screamed, gasping for air.
So, I did, and relieved both of our agony.
She stood there, a seven foot tall wolf woman, panting, confused and wide-eyed.
“You said you were hungry.” I said, recovering.
“That hurt so much!” She looked at me terrified.
“That's what you feel when I do that!? When I eat you?!”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“All that time? It hurt THAT bad?!” She said, her ears falling back on her head, her eyes wide, and terrified in a whole new way.
“Well, quite a bit worse, actually, compared to what you did to me earlier that was like a 3 out of ten.”
“What did the past ones feel like?” She said, breathless, the terrible truth of how much I loved her beginning to seep into her mind, painfully erasing the negativity.
“Eleven out of ten or more.”
Her face melted, and contorted, horrified. She could not accept that I would submit this deeply to her. To her, I was still the haughty, proud, horny Nephilim man who had tortured and victimized her in my lust and ignorance of her heart.
“You... You did that for me?” She asked, her head cocked, her face utterly confused.
I nodded.
She looked angry, confused, and terrified.
“You need to know I love you. I would do anything for you.”
“I have a Nephilim slave?”
I nodded.
“It'll take time. Stop worrying about it. Do not be afraid, Asrael. For, I love you and care for you a great deal. To me, there is nothing more beautiful in creation than my wolf-woman. Nothing.”
I didn't tell her, that even if she didn't choose me, that I would be fine with it, even if it hurt like Hell. Because I loved her. My filthy, thin-skinned partially rotted wolf-woman I was head over heels in love with. She didn't feel sexy, valuable, desired, but to me, she was far hotter and more desirable than that white-furred, blonde haired wolf woman God was going to create for someone. Because, we had history. We had endured multiple, difficult lives. We had been through so much. And, I loved her. Not because she had a sexy body and intimacy with her was so amazing. I loved her because my highest Choice, my best Pick, on the highest realm where I was still innocent... Was her.
Because even though she did not know she had made her choice... She had made her choice.
~
Asrael and I walked home that day. She was a bewildered, confused, overwhelmed.
“Can I give you your new body? You asked for it.”
“Can I do it?” She asked, wanting to test her new powers.
“It hurt the whole time?” She said, her mind numb, her words a whisper.
“Every second.”
“But why!” She exclaimed, turning to me, her face angry, now. “WHY would you let me do that to you!”
“Because I love you.” I said, staring sympathetically into her fractured yellow orange eyes.
“That's not love! It's hate!” She yelled, suddenly confused, and angry. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips threatened to reveal her teeth, which they did, a little.
“I took your hate.” I said. “Do you think I didn't deserve every pain? Remember how I treated you?”
“Yes but you never hurt me that bad! Not like that!” She said, recalling our first life together in this realm, because to her, in a way, what I did to her, felt worse than any mauling she delivered to me.
“Your heart matters, Asrael. Sometimes heart-pain is worse than physical pain. It's why we get recycled on Earth over and over. So we learn to be better. If we don't learn, our lessons become more and more extreme until we are forced to deal with anything that is harming Creation.”
“Let me heal you.” I said. “I don't know if he gave you access to his files on Creation.” Asrael cocked her head, as her eyes narrowed, exploring the new powers she had of her mind.
“It'll feel good, I promise.”
“Okay.” She said, the connection between us completely broken as she retreated inside her mind over how much pain I endured willingly to show her, prove to her, I had changed. Over how this new knowledge changed everything.
I tried accessing her file but I could not achieve resonance with her, she had been too negative for too long. Even I was not powerful enough for some things. Some things needed Joe.
“We have to go to Joe.”
“I don't want to.”
“Why?” I asked, looking at her filthy, broken, limping body.
“I'm scared.”
She was showing the whites of her eyes now. I hadn't seen that look in six thousand years, when I flipped out on her in my first life, and beat her so badly she joined a rebellion against us. Her mind was reeling, but I needed to let her work through it.
“You know he loves you too, right?”
Looking around, her mind was beginning to rearrange her understanding of her present existence.
“It hurt that bad?” She whispered, wide-eyed.
“Worse.” She looked at me and a tear fell down her face, her lips separated slightly, and she breathed through her mouth, and not her nose. Her breath was every bit as terrible as you would imagine a creature who had lived in filth for eons.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she collapsed, but I guided her down so she would not hurt herself.
She looked at me, utterly terrified of me. I touched her face. She recoiled in wide-eyed horror, lest she experience the pain she had caused me when she mauled me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, looking into her eyes, at her body, and back into her eyes.
“I'm not ugly to you?” She asked, summoning up her drastically different looks. “Why not a Nephilim woman! Why choose me! I'm just... A stupid Wolven!”
“You're beautiful. Joe added enough wolf in my waters of life that I don't desire a Nephilim woman. Not at all, actually. I despise them, mostly. I desire you.”
“Even now?”
“I mean, kind of. You're not the woman I married in the beginning of existence.” I didn't add that yeah, I would definitely fuck her, even like that. Hey, I was a Nephilim, after all. We would fuck almost anything, and deny it later if it soiled our reputation.
Her eyebrows furrowed as she sensed my thoughts. I looked down.
“Sorry.” I said. She grinned, sort of, and bit her lip with a long canine as she looked at me.
“Uhhhhm.” She said, and if there was any hair on her cheeks, it would have fluffed out in a blush, as her fear turned into sexual desire for me.
“Iiiiiii...” She said, her eyes taking me in as prey, but not to kill and consume me.
I looked into her eyes, not daring to assume anything.
“Yes?” I asked, staring at the large wolf-head, studying her, tasting of her slowly changing aura, which while it was not love, it was growing slightly less offensive, much like her stench, as the frequency in this realm began to resonate her higher.
Her eyes looked up, and down instinctively at me. She swallowed, hard.
“Umm.” She smiled, and for the first time, my wife began to come out of her.
I touched her scalp, where her long head-hair should have been.
“We're equals now.”
Her face went confused again.
“You love me.” She said in silent bewilderment. It was what I lacked in the past realm.
I nodded. “I love you.”
“This is hard.” She said, looking down.
I nodded. “I know. Imagine being on Earth with no memories of my previous life, and realizing I have you as a wife. Or, that you even existed at all. In a realm where we only know four-footed wolves. It was a trip. But I am so glad Joe showed you to me.”
“Strange.” She said, bewildered and in her own mind.
“Beautiful.” I corrected, folding my hands and remaining under her subjection. She looked at me.
She smiled, slightly.
She closed her eyes and tears began to fall.
“I hurt you.”
“Yes, and it was beautiful.”
“Why?” She said through the sobs.
“Because it brought you to understand that I have deep emotions for you.”
“How deep?”
“As deep as the oceans of living waters that flow through the universe.”
“I was talking about your dick.” She said, her aura still fairly dark. Between her legs her bodys natural lubrication ran down her leg. Her eyes glowed softly with desire, and she bit her lip just a little harder.
I laughed, biting my lip as I surveyed her body.
SHE was the reason I was insatiable on Earth. Torturing me with her insatiable sexual desires via our crimson strand.
“May I say something?” I said, still touching her face.
“Mhm.” She said, nodding, her aura now one of pure sexuality- her entire psyche beginning to change as her high sexuality was forcing her to desire me, changing the way she thought about me.
“I'll make love to you right now. I'll eat your crusty asshole, lick your pussy, suck your uh...” I said, looking at her half rotted feet.
“Um. Feet stubs. I will do as Asrael desires.” I said, growing a little sick over the idea, but willing, nontheless.
She began to stir, touching her breasts and oh shit. Yep. I had awakened the beast. Oh boy. I began to grow worried but in an entirely different way.
“Buuut, we can't let sex get in the way of your healing.” I squeaked out, knowing stopping the monster would only enrage it.
She became the woman in hell again, and I saw her hateful, enraged eyes came back over my rejection of her. Her lips curled up and that terrifying, deep guttural snarl returned, growing in crescendo. I did not move, I was not afraid, and that scared a part of her.
She tore into my neck, then yelped, screaming and falling back as she flailed wildly gasping and choking and thrashing, her wolf side coming out in the forms of pained, terrified yelps, roars, and human like screams.
“HEAL IT! FIX IT!” She screamed and roared through agonized gargles, snarls, and yelps.
“Is that. What. You want?” I said gagging and choking on my own blood, coughing it as mist in the air above me.
She ran to me, gasping for air, tripping and falling on her feet stubs, and tried to fix me with her mind, but her mind was too terrified, she was in too much pain, and she was too unschooled to wield her powers, yet.
“YES! YES! DO IT! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!”
I nodded, and re- centered myself, forcing myself to push passed the pain and heal my own body using my powers.
I got to my knees, coughing. My blood was soaked into my new shirt from the injuries she caused.
Her eyes were terrified, her entire body shaking, so I slapped her ass to let her know it was okay- except it had the opposite effect, as she got to her feet, charged me, and instantly bit my arm off.
She screamed so loudly I think all of heaven heard her. Her people were known for their roars, even louder than a lion, in this realm, there was no more feared animal-hybrid than the wolf-human combination. Even the lion people and cat people did not possess jaws as powerful, or muscles as efficient. Their claws could tear, but the wolf-person would take the tearing, grabbing the creatures head hair, and crushing their necks, decapitating their predator-prey in two quick motions during blood fights.
She pushed through the agony in her blood rage and bit my neck, tearing my throat out, again.
I passed out and so did she.
When I woke up, she was still passed out.
She needed rest.
And, so did I.
It took her a day to come back, and when she did it was with terrified, desperate gasps for air, mixed with accented, amplified yelps, hollow human screams, reverting to a feral form of herself as her humanity was stripped away by her agony.
By our agony.
“Cah... I... Hee... Myel”
“YES!! HEAL YOURSELF you stupid piece of Nephilim shit! If you're lucky you will have my body tonight cos if I don't get it from you I am going to rape Joe! God damn it I am so fucking horny!” She hissed out through the pain.
I did as she desired, and instantly I was on her, kissing her.
Confused, suddenly angry, she growled at me.
“You're horny. Can I take care of that?”
“I'M VERY fucking horny for some reason!” She said, adjusting to the healing she was receiving just by having her consciousness exist in this highest realm.
“If I don't fuck you before you get your new body, you will not know that I love you even in this form. And not love like before. This is the love that will let you go, if you need time. Love that only honors the tender passionate beauty of the core of Joe's creation. Of the woman known as Asrael. The woman I love more than my own existence.”
“Okay.” She said, still confused, panting.
“May I? I'm sorry for jumping on you and kissing you like that. We've been through a lot lately.”
“We have.” She said, tears falling down her eyes as she looked so deeply in my own, before her eyes defocused and she retreated back into her soul. Our connection was beginning to grow. It was... severed pretty completely at times, but it was beginning the lover's dance all over again. I wanted to hold her hand.
“So... What do you want to do?”
Her stomach growled, which honestly made me jumpy.
“I'm sorry...” She said so softly, through the tears, I barely understood her.
“For what?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “You know!”
“Asking for sex? What's wrong with that? I'm actually kind of curious what it feels like.”
“FOR HURTING YOU! You stupid, horny Nephilim fuck.” She said, spitefully, her Hell-rage bubbling back up into her soul.
“When?”
By now she was furious, Her fists balled, and breathing sharply through her nose, her eyes wide in that vicious predator rage. She had three times my strength even now, easily. “Bred for labor” my fellow Nephilim joked behind closed doors about her people. But, I loved her people. I loved the Wolven. To me they were more beautiful than any Nephilim, more graceful and regal as well. I would rather spend an infinite eternities with her people than with my own.
“Just. Now.”
“You didn't hurt me, you just growled.”
“The throat thing? The stomach thing? The hand thing? Look at your shirt! Who's blood is that! The first time when you were on Earth? You stupid fucking Nephilim you don't remember any of that?” Good. Her personality was beginning to come out.
I blinked rapidly, trying to access these events she spoke of.
“Um. Uh. You sure you weren't imagining it or something? Like, in a dream?”
She got to her feet, grabbed my long hair, cried out over how much it hurt her in our mutual connection, but did not let go, and drag-walked me as far as she could stand it, then pushed my head away, throwing me to the ground. I caught up and walked next to her.
“You're gonna remember. You maybe blanked it out because it hurt so bad. But you'll remember. Oh, you'll remember.” She said, her hands still balled into fists.
“I'm not weak.” She said, looking me up and down.
“I'm not fragile like you.” She said with a scoff through her nose. I looked up at her and nodded.
“I know.”
Eventually we got to Joes.
“Fix this. His memory is gone!” She said, shoving me into Joe. I fell into him, and we both tumbled a little.
We both got to our feet.
I gave joe a confused look with an exaggerated shrug.
“TELL HIM I HURT HIM! Look. Look at this blood. I did that. He doesn't remember.” She said, tearing my shirt as I was tossed effortlessly by her.
“When?” Joe asked, looking at me.
The look on her face was priceless. Her eyes went wide and Joe took a step back when you could see her rage turn from me, to Joe.
“Hey, hey, whoa, whoa. You're two feet taller than me but I got powers too!” He said, moving his arms around as if casting an exaggerated magical spell, but looking a little worried, his eyes fell on me. There was some sort of cosmic blue green joint in his mouth and his eyes were bloodshot. I could tell he wanted to chuckle and laugh but didn't because Asrael wasn't herself, yet. She wasn't his Beloved little girl. She still held so much negative energy.
In a way her negativity was her identity. She needed to let it go, and embrace the positivity that was beginning to seep into her consciousness.
“I fucking killed you. A few times.” She said focusing her rage again on me. Her mental acuity was returning beautifully to her as she stared hatefully at me, then Joe.
“What are you saying I'm weak? That I didn't hurt you?” She hissed out hatefully.
“No, I'm saying if you did it doesn't matter any more. That whatever negative effects you think it should have on him, that it doesn't have those effects. He loves you, Asrael.” She turned her eyes to me, her teeth gritted, her breath bringing forth a growl, her eyes hatefully boring holes inside of me. I stood there, head bowed, ready to receive her rage again. I sighed, and took in breath through my mouth.
She closed her eyes and began to weep deeply.
I'm talking open muzzle wails, chest spasming with sorrow, I also literally could feel in my gut. Many who were bustling and walking around Heaven stopped to stare at the bizarre scene, a human man with a bloodstained white tshirt and jeans, and a sickly footless wolf-woman wailing into the sky.
Soon the connection Joe gave us, overwhelmed me and I was balling, too.
She crawled over to me and held me so tightly it hurt, protecting me from herself, telling me she loved me, so she released me partially for my comforts sake.
“YOU'RE SO FRAGILE!” She said through the tears, her muzzle comically pointed up as she wailed. I could tell she was sorry. And that she was beginning to come to terms with her own strength. Truly, she was powerful. Far more powerful than I.
Soon my sobbing turned to laughter, and she tried to laugh, too, wide- eyed and still terrified, trying to look at her true love through teary eyes.
“You were soft this whole time?!” She asked, ears back, telling me she would no longer hurt me. Or, at least make an effort not to.
“Yes, duh.” I said.
“I'm scared!”
“Why? You're the one with the teeth.” I chuckled.
~